Aging is about more than a number

I apologise to anyone who finds this ageist. It’s not meant that way but is a personal observation following a hard week in the journey with an aged and much loved relative. We have supported her through the degeneration of body and mind so she could live in her own home for as long as possible. But last week she went into care and we are torn between guilt for taking the decision away from her and relief that she is safe.Image result for old young woman drawing, free imageAging is about more than a number.
For some its a faltering body and a failing mind.



Its creaking and groaning when you get up
and again when you sit down. Sigh.
It’s unable to bend in the garden,
to pull the weeds or smell the flowers.
It’s having to ask for help
to open that jar of jam
to make the bed
to wash yourself
to fix the TV when you’ve lost the channel
and none of the buttons will bring it back.

Its losing confidence in your self,
you’re afraid you’ll fall,
you’ll hurt yourself,
you try to be careful and then
you stop doing those things you used to do.

It’s about forgetting.
Forgetting you just said that,
forgetting to take your pills,
the ones you need to stay well,
forgetting how to use the phone
and losing touch with your family,
forgetting to eat,
forgetting … what did you say your name was again?

Its about having to adjust
when change is the last thing you want.
Its about being 17 inside your head
when the world is telling you otherwise.
Its about anger and resentment.
Who says that’s what’s best for you.

They say that getting old is better than the alternative.
Well, aging is about more than a number.

I found the image at:



  1. You care and you’ve done the best you can in a really difficult situation. Sounds like you’re the people best-placed to make the decision and you’ve had the courage to do what you judge is best for your relative. I hope it all turns out well!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t ever apologise Wendy as it’s your blog and you can write what you like 😊 I have the urge to write they are fortunate or not to get to that age. Old age is grand when your healthy in mind and body. I hope the settling in stage goes smoothly. Kia Kaha 🌻

    Liked by 1 person

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